Gemini Astro-tWINNING: The Divinity of Cosmic Relationships
Gemini season 2016 has been too lit to quit.
As a result of the inner work I've been tackling in recent months, Gemini season has unequivocally ushered in a new way of being in the world.
This recent shift in dynamic has amplified my ability to experience, receive and express love in a truly unconditional manner.
Solar Return Astrotwin Activation
On May 26th, the day before my birthday, I was buzzing high on day 9 of my 11-day Master Cleanse, and feeling great about my upcoming solar return.
In what was only my second time leaving my toddler daughter Eleven, I flew out, solo, to Seattle, Washington for the 30th annual Northwest Astrological Conference to see what I could see.
I was a recipient of the Diversity in Astrology scholarship, an initiative heralded by New York astrologer Samuel F. Reynolds, so being able to attend was a continuance of the abundant gifts I'd been receiving all month.
NORWAC 2016 was a magical blowout, and I'm still recovering. I'm still trying to figure out What All That Was. In truth, it was nothing short of a glimpse of Age of Aquarian heaven on earth.
The first day of the conference, I was walking out of a lecture called "Leo and the Solar Self: Creative & Destructive Forces of Narcissism" by Jason Talley.
Being a Leo ascendant with a super lit 5th house, I had to hear what the astrologer had to say about Leo, Hercules, the 5th House, and Narcissism--and it was fantastic.
After organizing my notes, I was one of the last people to leave the conference room other than a guy and girl sitting at a banquet table near the door. As I approached the exit, he to me, "Hey, happy birthday!" He had the most radiant smile.
"What? Aw, thanks! How'd you know?"
"Oh, I heard Laura tell you that earlier when you were coming in! I'm a Gemini too." He gestured to the Gemini glyph tattooed on his arm.
Here we go.
"Oh em gee. Awesome. Look!" I showed him my brand new, kinda flaky Gemini tattoo, and we did a silly tatt-to-tatt high-five.
"I just got this one done a few days ago with my Gemini Twinstar BFF!" I told him. "I love Gemini season. When's your birthday?”
I gasped. "Oh no! That's my Twinstar's birthday too! We got our tattoos that day! Tuesday!”
“Wow,” he said. “And I'm an actual twin; I have a twin sister! Let me read your other stats.” He looked at my name badge which had my Sun (energy), Moon (emotions) & Rising (appearance) signs on it.
“Okay, so you're a Gemini Sun, right, a Capricorn Moon...” his eyes got big. “Oh my God. MY moon's in Capricorn too!”
“Yes. Wait." he looked at the third glyph on my badge. "Your Ascendant is in Leo?!” he exclaimed. “SO IS MINE!”
“Are you serious?!” I almost fell out. We were basically screaming at this point. “Rachel Rai is my twinstar, but you're my real-life astrotwin!”
We had our respective freak outs and realized we had to take a picture and immortalize the moment we met. He introduced himself as Colin, and his companion as Christina, a gorgeous Sagittarius with an Aries Moon and Pisces Rising, and she got the shots for us.
There is no feeling like meeting your astrological mirror. It's very bizarre, because when I observe Colin, both in person and in his online profiles, I just see and feel so much of myself, it's palpable.
The way he speaks; his hand gestures for that Gemini emphasis; his pro modeling photos. The warmth, the dramatics, the sense of humor; everything just really felt like...me. All I knew was that my adoration for him was instant, and there was an immediate sense of intimacy that comes with a deep knowingness of the function of the psyche.
But siriusly. Why do we both have the Gemini tattoo in the same place, though?
On so many levels, he is a really beautiful mirror, and I felt that from the first words he said to me. Mutable signs tend to be that way anyway, but the reflection goes deeper.
Our natal charts are remarkably similar beyond even our shared Sun, Moon and Rising signs.
The Yod in Astrology: The Finger of Fate
Colin and I both have Pluto-Neptune yods in our natal charts (his points to Jupiter/Venus in Gemini, and mine points to my Gemini Sun, both in our ELEVENTH houses. Of course). Since we both have Leo ascendants, and Pluto and Neptune take so damn long to move, our natal yods are similar.
In astrology, the yod aspect is an equilateral triangle made of two planets in sextile, with both of them inconjunct (AKA "quincunx") a third planet.
Yods are deeply significant, because they symbolize patterns in families that have lasted for generations. Yods are rare and can be seen as fated, and a yod formation can act rather like an unaspected planet.
Keepers of the "Finger of God" have an emphasis on unusual situations. This is because, ultimately, those with yods in their chart have a restless sense of unique purpose and a calling -- and can primarily only embody their purpose by BEING themselves, authentically. Sure, a "special purpose" is true for everyone, but yod-bearers are literally in existence to disrupt the status quo.
Inconjunct aspects are interesting because there's this inextricable connection between the three (or more) planets, but they speak different languages by element and modality and as such, require flexibility. So although yods are strange, the answer to a yod formation is literally this: just be mutable.
A composite chart is an astrological wheel made from the midpoints (or average/halfway distance) between two people's natal planets. For example, my Sun is at 6 degrees Gemini and Colin's is at 3, so our composite chart's Sun is in between at about 4.5 degrees of Gemini.
Composite charts paint a picture of the unique relationship as its own entity. Colin's and my composite chart is literally nothing but one giant, fated, yod formation pointing to Mercury, the planet of direct expression. There's no red in our composite -- my natal squares disappear, his natal oppositions dissolve, and we're left with only the yod, and an extra harmonious trine for good measure.
When a yod is in a composite chart, there is an instant, magnetic knowing that the two souls have to do something together. What happens when two mirrors face one another? It seems like the makings of a hologram of sorts, with the relationship being a third entity that may be hard to quantify. But why do things need to be quantified all the time?
It's hard to put one's finger on it, but at the most basic level, our composite yod indicates that our combined purpose is spiritual transformation through communication.
And it's obvious. Naturally, there is this impulsive magnetic attraction I have to him. At this point in my life, however, I know I've reached a level of maturity so it is something I am able to explore in a more productive way.
Learning to Stand (not fall) in Love, Productively
I told my girlfriends that I am so glad Colin lives in NY and is queer, and that I'm merrily married with our baby and a few important things grounding us here in Chicago. Because I swear to Goddess, if we had met when I was younger, I would have Uranus-quit my life, dropped everything, and ran away with him. That is the literal compulsion I felt--this cellular impulse to experience more of this dynamic reflection.
I've been there before many a time when I was younger. That impulsive shit was always super fun, but quickly fizzled out. I sometimes read back over my old journals which documented the relationships of my early-to-mid 20s. I had some super dramatic and epic adventures with past lovers, but I half-laugh, half-scoff at myself. Of course hindsight is always 20/20, and I know for sure what each relationship had to teach me about myself.
When I and my womp womp Capricorn Moon hear people talking about how "so in love" they are for the third time this year, I roll my eyes. Yeah, yeah. You found The One. I don't have time for your irrational endorphins and the honeymoon phase of relationships. Talk to me more about it in a few weeks when The Representative (which can be thought of as a person's rising sign) you've been talking to finally gets out of the way and you meet the rest of their chart; the full 360.
Capricorn can be such an asshole. ;)
In my own marriage, I feel the fact that I talked to Dread for almost a year before even taking him seriously in a romantic way is the reason why we've had such longevity--I didn't just compulsively run away with him or hook up with him immediately the way many of his multiple women did in the past. In fact, I kind of ran away from him, true to youthful Gemini form, so of course that made him sprint after me, even though he literally had a horde of women at his feet.
Dread and I met in February 2011. I instantly knew he was Something Special to me, and that if I explored it further my entire world would shatter. I was not prepared for a matrix breakdown, so I took my time getting to know and work with him in a platonic manner.
About 11 months later, I finally woke up and recognized that I'd been working with my highest reflection. Once I knew it, I couldn't "un-know" it so I instantly made the dimensional shift to be with him. It may have seemed impulsive and Uranian to my friends and family back then, but it was something I subconsciously knew for MONTHS, and waited to act upon until the time was right.
Decolonizing Consciousness with my Astrotwin(s) and Astrology
In the 4 days during which Colin and I were in the same city, and in these recent days following, we've had conversations about life and love that I haven't even had with people i've known for decades. I have very rich relationships in general, but the free and clear flow of communication I have with him is unmatched and uncanny, and only further confirmed by our natal synastry.
The NORWAC conference was transcendent in that it brought a sense of immediate intimacy due to the nature of astrology. It wasn't intrusive to share your sun, moon & rising; it was an open invitation to get a glimpse into another's inner compass--and really nice to talk to others who "get it."
Every interaction was edifying, and I feel like I connected with 50 more Great Loves of My Life; four of whom are pictured here: Tali Edut of The AstroTwins, me, Christina Mui (co-founder of Queer Cosmos with Colin), Samuel F. Reynolds, and of course, my astrotwin Colin.
I love being able to share my challenges and dark side so unabashedly. I love being able to speak on an aspect and know I am understood. I love being able to express this love without traditional attachments. I love knowing that there is a sense of destiny here, but that I don't have to define it; no boxes or categorizations.
There's this deep inner knowing that this astrotwin of mine and I have a soul connection that transcends space, time, and lifetimes, but the best part is we don't have to impinge on the others' freedom or shatter our lives and tie one another down, as people with composite yods are prone to do (like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, who have a composite yod: fuck else mattered once the two of them converged).
Don't get me wrong, I still feel that compulsion, but I know that responsibility, maturity, and this Saturn return have me proceeding in more productive ways to which, heretofore, I simply didn't have access. If I were like, 24 years old, I'd probably be on a damn plane to NY right now instead of writing this and examining these feelings.
But what is that? The desire to consume another person that arises so often when there is a spark of natural chemistry?
The Gemini Embracement of Loving Detachment
So often we meet people with whom we feel a sense of destiny, and Uranus-upheave our lives to explore this new dynamic. We run away together, we get married quickly, we go off on these global adventures and make plans to take over the world. But when we come home, how do we relate in everyday life? How do we connect in the mundane in terms of domesticity? How do the other dynamics such as friends and family jive with the union?
There is much to be said about a relationship as an entity that exists in the bigger picture of everyday life, domestic duties, and extended family.
There is also much to be said about the dynamic of love that is not limited to just one person, but can be expressed completely and fully without any pretenses.
What's the endgame? Is the institution of marriage most important, or is it the quality of the actual relationship between two people? Do I have to officially declare myself as "progressive" or "polyamorous" in order to appreciate the full spectrum of beautiful beloveds that I have in my life? Because I won't. I just is what I is.
If we're just thinking about masculine energy that supports me in my yin-ness, I feel like I have like 10 "husbands" in my life anyway...the men I know are wonderful. If we're thinking about feminine energy that gives me the nourishing experience of soul ignition, support, and nurturance, I consider my best girlfriends to be like wives in that we are a collective, and they love my husband and daughter as much as I do.
I don't see a need to distinguish the qualities of love that I have with all these different people, and the amount of love I can give and receive is literally endless. The wonderful thing about knowing astrology is that it shows, plainly, how our lives are destined to intersect with others. Synastry and composite charts are epic tools for overspending the dynamic and purpose of any connection we have.
I simply embrace and behold my various relationships for what they are. I don't really need to title them as such, or ask for a state-issued certificate, and go live in a village compound formation to put the relationship on lock.
Besides, I don't really like living with a lot of people. I also don't like the term "village," even though I have that dynamic in practice to the fullest. How about my "court"? [Leo Rising joke]
I also don't like the implications that come along with the word "husband," which is a legal term that indicates a business agreement and ownership. I do use the term as a sovereign being, though, and as someone who was lawfully wed in a Caribbean country for the purposes of keeping the U.S. out my fucking business. I also think that a lot of people caping for polygamy and open relationships in theory are a lot less equipped to handle them in practice, but here I digress.
I don't like labels and am wary of defining myself. I won't even call myself "pescatarian" because I just hate the box, even if it's accurate. Am I black or melanated? Indigenous Tumbuka/Bemba or Zambian? Am I a Queen or a Goddess? I can be all of the above, as long as I release the semantics and politics and baggage surrounding the terms. My queendom is right here, people.
Plus, with Uranus in Sagittarius in my 5th house, all of my creative connections and lovers are going to be radically unique. We can see that in how with these two men whom I love dearly, one is older than my parents, and the other is gay. Whatever the fuck ever. I don't know what "normal" is.
To check a box is to put a nail in the coffin. I like freedom, and pure love without obligation or condition.
I like my circles. The Goddess Circo; my Inner Circos. I love Dread's and my divine hieros gamos -- the sacred union of souls. I thrive in my multiple holy trinity trifectas.
My partnerships. My covens. My Great Loves of My Life and my Aces. The possibilities are endless.
Colin nailed it in explaining how Gemini represents the spectrum of possibility. We know how to outdo ourselves and collaborate with our complementary elements in order to experience beautiful art and creative expression on the planet.
We whirl around, twirling on haters and Cultivating Creative Connections. We consistently reinvent ourselves, and that makes some people leery: "What IS a Gemini? I can't figure them out! They must be Satan. Y'all are crazy."
Crazy, maybe. But our fluidity is our strength--our air is the propelling force.
This is why we continue to create dope shit and get others lit.
True love transcends boundaries, and the concepts of intimacy and lovemaking are not confined to age, orientation, geolocation, nor even just the bedroom. Besides, as the Gemini thinker, I need to be mentally stimulated before anything else can even happen, friendship or otherwise.
So, Chartreuse B and Colin B. The astrotwins with matching stats and matching initials whose composite yod was activated when we met on my birthday, three days after his. And he has an actual twin, Tali is 1/2 of THE Astrotwins (I have a whole 'nother story to share about HER); and I have a pseudo-twin bestie who shares Colin's birthday.
I mean, just look at us.
What is this?
It's a relatively hazy thing to quantify, but it feels like this: a non-consumptive love that doesn't require me to pine away and daydream some fantasy about owning this other person.
It's a love where although I feel the explosive newness and captivating excitement of what is essentially the delusional "honeymoon period," at the same time I feel free to be as open and honest as possible, and trust the process without trying to force or quantify WHAT the fuck this all means.
I don't have to wear my Leo Rising mask or put only my best face forward. I don't have to present the totally awesome "representative" that hangs out in relationships for the first 6 months.
It's a pure expression of love without condition - a true embodiment of detached love, which I think heretofore I would have been unequipped to handle. I know I can openly share any aspect of myself--the light, the shadows--and be accepted as a whole being.
The love and value inherent in that kind of openness is supreme and divine. What I believe can always change, but if there's One Thing I Know For Sure, it's that the possibilities are limitless.
Give thanks for life.