Age of Eleven

Aquarian [11:11] Transmissions

Why You Should Talk to Adults Like They're Babies

Astrology, Decoding, How To, Letters to Eleven, ParentingChiChiComment

AKA...How to Effectively Communicate with Toddlers...AND Adults!

(hint: it's the same technique)

 

Cookies at breakfast once in a while won't kill her. ;)

Toddlers whose parents always acknowledge their fears and frustrations grow up emotionally healthy, feeling comfortable in their own skin.

 

If you ignore or dismiss your little one when she's upset, she internalizes that you're not interested in her true feelings and will learn to keep them buried. Suppression is the root of the subconscious shadow, and the shadow is the cause of all the blockages we face as adults.

 

2 ears, 1 mouth: Listen More than you Speak

 

Learning good toddler communication skills helps for interacting with anyone who's upset, no matter what age. The key is in *acknowledging* the other party's emotional outbursts and complaints first, before responding with your own point. 

 

The upset person, whether a grown adult or a 2-year-old, isn't in a place to hear or rationalize. They've gone ape shit; logical faculties out the window.

 

The best you can do is listen to the complaint, mirror it back, and let them know that they are seen and heard. *Then* you can get on to explaining why she can't have chocolate for breakfast, or why his fears are unwarranted.

 

Astrological Indications

 

It wasn't until I became a mother myself that I really recognized the extent of how every childhood experience places an indelible mark on the psyche, for better or worse.

 

I think about my own mother's history of tendencies of not listening to my perspective and disregarding my feelings.

 

Looking at my birth chart, I can see how my Chiron (deepest wound) in Gemini (communication) played out as years of censored and limited self-expression. The disregard from my mother also manifested in my emotionally stoic Capricorn Moon: deep feelings rarely outwardly expressed. 

 

My mother is not a bad person; she just lacked skills through which to parent me how I needed, and went the default route of being Leo Queen of her domain.

 

Nowadays, I don't have many emotionally dramatic people in my life, but these communication skills come in handy when connecting with other adults, especially in my astrology and womb wellness consultations. 

The circle of women at one of my recent Yoni Egg Womb Wellness Workshops at B'Gabs Goodies

 

After years of being a rather "counselor"-type friend, giving advice and tips on how others can fix their problems, I'm focused now more on simply being a good listener, mirroring back to the person my empathy and understanding so that they can feel heard. Then, when the other person knows they are seen and validated, the space is open for me to make suggestions.

 

Acknowledgment is all we want, more than even being agreed with or placated. We all need to know that we matter and that our feelings have merit. It's then that we can do the work of addressing the root causes of the emotions and get to healing what the REAL deal is; not the surface trigger.

 

Hearing My Chatty Toddler

 

Eleven is 2 and 2 months, and this has been the best age and most enjoyable part of motherhood to date. It really only gets better!

 

What I love the most is how she speaks in complete sentences with complete thoughts in that sweet little voice of hers. "Oh! Good morning, mama. How are you, mama?"

ElevenToddler

 

And when she is upset about something, I'm dedicated to remembering the art of "Toddlerese" so I can speak her language properly in the midst of one of her fiery Aries Moon emotional outbursts.

 

These communication techniques have everything to do with hearing my child. I'm not trying to shush her crying, or invalidate her desires, nor distract her with a shiny object. 

 

I love that I have the knowledge of her birth chart to recognize her strengths and weaknesses, and address them accordingly to the best of my ability.

 

My husband Dread and I are striving to meet Eleven where she is, and provide the acknowledgment and support she requires in order to have a healthy sense of self.

 

And so far, she's really got it. Her Scorpio Sun is in her first house of identity, direct conjunct her Ascendant. She KNOWS who she is. 

 

So listen to your children. Make the concerted effort to actually hear your friends, partners, and lovers. Decode the true meaning behind the surface complaint and pain, and work from a place of empathy to start moving forward in being a beacon of love and healing for them.

Eleven and her baba and THE Ankh.

 

 

So listen to your children. Make the concerted effort to actually hear your friends, partners, and lovers. Decode the true meaning behind the surface complaint and pain, and work from a place of empathy to start moving forward in being a beacon of love and healing for them.